Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
