got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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