you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
