People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
