Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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