I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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