I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
