he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
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