why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
