lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
