I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
