whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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