Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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