Can i not drive my cunt home
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
