I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
