Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
