why didn't you poke me back
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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