And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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