I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
