my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
