I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
