you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
