No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
