Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
