we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He shit in the fireplace
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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