I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just took my morning after pill in the library
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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