Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
