Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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