good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
