My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
