I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
