Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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