its not stalking. its research.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
