My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
