She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
