A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
