porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
