you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
