He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
operation harelip BJ is a go
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
