Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
