SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
