she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
