Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
