Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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