No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
