I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
