The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
someone owes me an orgasm
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
