would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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