During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Sorry about my life...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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