so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
