I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
