y did u give ur computer a hand job?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
this will be a night to untag.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
