Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
