If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Randomize
