Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
