So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There r osticjed everywhere
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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