I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
