do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
