I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
